Proceeding
by griffinfootunderscore
Summary: Cath's Spring semester has come and gone. The summer is closing- and Cather, Levi, Wren, Jandro, and Reagen, are back at UNL. Oh yeah, and Nick, too.
1. Chapter 1

(These characters belong to Rainbow Rowell.)

Cath POV

I yawned and stretched my arms. Looking down, I saw Levi had let me sleep last night instead of waking me up to read some more of Les Miserables to him. Reagan wasn't here, and she had informed us of her planning to stay with a friend for the night, hence Levi's presence on my bed. His hair swept across the pillow edge, and shined faintly in the sun. Leaning down, I sniffed his hair. It may sound weird, the whole hair- sniffing thing, but I couldn't believe that he so rarely washed his hair yet it was soft, and shiny, and he didn't even have dandruff. It was crazy. It made me mad, and I couldn't always tell which kind of mad it was. He stirred a little, and his hair brushed my nose. Jumping back a little, I stood up, and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

"Cather?" An imploring voice, with just the perfect amount of morning raspiness, sounded from the bedroom.

"Yeah, Levi?" I called back, my mouth full of foam. I heard his answer through the brushing sound against my teeth.

"Could you bring me some water, love?"  
I rolled my eyes. Pet names, really- why were they so affective, though?

"Aren't you supposed to be at Starbucks this morning?" I called, my mouth clean, as I brushed through my tangles.

"Yeah, I guess so, Saturday is busy." He sighed as I walked in without water, and rolled out of his side of the bed. Walking over, he drew nearer, and reaching an arm behind my head, he tugged my ponytail lightly as I looked up at him.

"Of course, I'd rather just stay here with you and watch you read the reviews for Carry On, Simon." He laughed.

I frowned, looking away.  
"Cath?"

"Hmm?"

"Did someone say something?"

"No, it's just that I wasn't expecting everybody to be so okay with me releasing the end of Carry On after the eighth book came out. I mean, hundreds of people find my story from day to day. Some of my followers from when I was sixteen are just reading it, and it's been a summer. I guess I wonder if it's worth anything, my diligence in writing. I was so much more shaken up about it than them. What am I?"

"Cather," he said gently, "You're the Penelope of my life. You're their hero! See all the comments?" He asked, picking up the laptop, open to the review page. "Magicath, if it weren't for you I would've kicked the book across the room." "Magicath, you gave me all I wanted for my childhood." "Magicath, you're so brilliant, you got me through finals." "Magicath, I just finished Carry On, now I can read Simon Snow and the Eighth Dance in peace, thank you."

I sighed, and grinned a little as Levi grinned back adoringly into my eyes.  
"Yeah, okay."  
He was still grinning when he released my hair.

"You've got work." I continued past his shoulder, feeling his gaze follow me across the room as I made my way to the bag of clothes by his bed. I fought the urge to blush, knowing that he found my leggings and his flannel on me to be attractive.

"Cather?"  
I rolled my eyes. My name, he likes that too, he made that much clear the first time I ever exiled him to the hallway.

"Levi?"

"I like it when your hair is down."  
I turned, a set of clothes in my hands. My hair brushed the middle of my back. I had it trimmed recently, actually, Wren had agreed to accompany me, as I refused to go alone. She had spent a little less then an hour having a lovely chat with the hairdresser. I spent the time avoiding eye contact with mine. She smelled like chemicals, and thought I couldn't hear her muttering under her breath about my appearance. I had looked a bit shabby, and as Wren was right next to me looking pristine, the lady certainly understood I could look that good.

"I just like you." I said as he laughed, and his eyes crinkled, and I stared.  
And stared. And stared. Then when he left the room to go to Starbucks, I stared as he left, and when I finally stopped I felt blinded. "How'd I get him?" I wondered aloud.

Reagan POV

I could never understand Levi. One minute he'd be a shut down robot, the next Cath could light him up like a Christmas tree. Was I jealous? Maybe a little bit, but seeing Levi smile at her, and seeing Cath finally out of her turtle shell made me believe so much in the world. It made me want to stop dating guys I knew weren't my type; the guys that only acted like they cared for me. Guys like the one I'm lying next to. It made me want to date someone with potential.

Levi POV

Cath was starting her first paper for her required philosophy class when I left. She had changed into her usual skinny jeans, with some sort of cute graphic type of tee, and a warm looking cardigan. I wonder how long she'll last before checking her Fanfixx account. She makes me laugh. I've seen Wren show up wearing sundresses and short boots looking like she should be the one of the people on screen for the advertisements, not one of the worn out people who design them. No offense to their Dad, of course- but I saw how hard he worked, and the consequences. Then you have Cath, Cather, who almost sees herself as a lesser version of Wren. The fact she wears comfortable clothes that she enjoys makes her more confident than her sister in it's own way. I suspect Wren appreciates the perpetually warm and inviting feel of Cath's style, she just likes shining too. Cath is a candle, and Wren's a desk lamp lightbulb. I'm turning into a cowboy, I frowned. A love sick man wearing flannels, talking about bison, and tipping my hat to ladies.

"What've you done, Cather?" I grin, strolling around the corner and entering the doors of Starbucks.

Wren POV

I need to workout more. I can't even carry in a box for Dad from the front porch to the inside of the door. I wonder how Cath's doing. I just arrived for the weekend at Dad's place. She's probably with Levi, I think, pushing the box along the ground, or the girl who has no soul, and criticizes Baz and Simon. Reagan. I've seen her enough, though, to tell she cares for Cath- in her own way. She even tolerates me, and we're polar opposites. I've learned she and Cath are quite alike though, despite obvious differences, which is interesting considering how much space Reagan's personality and style can take up in a room. If I'm loud, it's because I'm screaming, if Reagan's loud, it's because she isn't saying anything at all.

Cath POV

This girl says slash is the devil's spare reading material.  
What I don't understand is why she's commenting that on every chapter when she's obviously read enough to know that Simon and Baz are destined to be together. I think they've snogged by where she is. 


	2. Chapter 2

(These characters belong to Rainbow Rowell.)

Cath POV

I strongly believe that writing is an art lost on "the many." I think I would be willing to lose the ability to write in order to keep the gift from some people. I should really be writing my paper right now, but I'm extremely sick of philosophers at the moment and would like to ignore them, they make me think too much. Mine is a world of two idiots in love who hardly know it, and philosophy does terrible things to innocents such as them, like question not only their love, but also the existence of the true love that is so readily imagined by every good romance author and worked to be achieved. "The classics we realize are not written by those our society values..." The echo of a poem rings in my ear, and still all I want to do is sleep- for a really long time. I'm proud however, because I know that no matter how much sleep I get I could never create a perfect paper with just my imagination, the way I did with Baz and Simon. So I write, and think of Levi with every defense of true love I muster up.

Reagan POV

I left the boy asleep. It was a one night stand, and I don't want a commitment with him. Not with him- but I think I might actually be considering accepting a trustworthy guy into my life. If I ever find one. Cath should be at the dorm, and Levi hopefully left already. He's been late to work enough due to her. They're like magnets.

Levi POV

I can't look at c's anymore without thinking of Cath. Every freaking cappuccino reminds me if her.

Wren POV

The fridge is full of food, and the fruit isn't moldy. The bread is whole wheat, and the freezer has tilapia as well as in it. Something's up. Either my dad has taken a turn for the better, or he has found a pull to live like healthy human being. He's been running more, too.

"How've you been, Wren- is Cath well?" Dad asked, his face flushed as he untied his shoes.

"Yeah, she's been good. I think she might be a little lost after wrapping up Carry On, Simon- but she and Levi are as in love as ever." I said sighing, looking up and meeting the eyes that had smaller dark circles then usual.

"What about you and Jandro?"

"Are you asking me that because you feel guilty for sending me to AAA circles, or because you want to know if he means something to me really?"

"Oh, I don't feel guilty. They should encourage you to never put yourself into one of them again. Which you did, it's you that got yourself in there," he answered, taking a gulp of water.

"I know."

His eyes widened, as though waiting for me to shout "Just kidding!"

"Jandro and I are good, Dad." I continue, grabbing a water bottle and heading up the stairs.

Jandro's uncle died of alcohol abuse three years ago he said.

Cath POV

There is no sound more beautiful than a keyboard at work, it's like a song. Keys jingle outside the door. I know who it is when the door swings wide open and slams shut loudly.

A/N: I will try to update weekly, and I'm planning for Proceeding to end at about twenty five to fifty chapters. I would appreciate reviews. If people would like to read the poem Cath remembers a line of, I can't tell you the name because it's an original work. Tell me if you'd like to read it, and I can publish it. It's by me. Also, THANKS Jcathwren! 


	3. Chapter 3

(These characters belong to Rainbow Rowell.)

Cath POV

Reagan reminds me of smoke. Not the pretty pine- scented campfire smoke either, the grimy, choking weed, cigarette, and pipe smoke- heavy and compressing. It isn't unpleasant, though. The smell reminds me that she's strong, an Amazon woman of this day and age, a Cleopatra for feminism. She is the big bad wolf, and nobody messes with her. I'm Little Red Riding Hood, and I trust her. "Cath!" The door banged against the wall, against the already chipped white paint, and slamming back into the door frame. I jumped. "Yeah?"  
Her skinny jeans made their way into my line of vision, and I studied the faint green stain of paint on her black skinny jeans.  
"We NEED to get out of here. Let's go swing from the church's monkey bars- or let's go find a fire alarm door to walk through by accident- or maybe we could jaywalk in a straight line right across town, and throw eggs at Gamma Kappa Epsilon?"  
I blinked as the static film disappeared from my eyesight and I stopped looking at the screen of my laptop. "Are you okay?"  
(You look worse than usual.)" What happened?" (Car accident maybe- plus a spill from a roof?)  
"Don't tell me you're mad because from something one of your shady friend-boy-not-boy-friends did." (Please don't start complaining about another bad experience with a boy you knew full well was no good. Simon Snow would never be complained to about boy problems from Penelope. Then again, Reagan and Penelope are worlds apart- in every sense...)  
"Cath? Are you even listening to me?"  
"Sorry- what?"  
"Cath!" Reagan's voice dropped a tad- and frowning, she spoke quieter- in an almost dull tone.  
"All you ever do is think about Levi these days, and truthfully, all he does is think about you."  
My mind raced to find a problem with the statement, which in itself, should have been worry enough. "Cath, you try to spend minimum amounts of time with Wren and me, and maximum amounts of time with Levi- who, for your information, hasn't talked to his family since summer." I blinked more. "That's not- that's not- good." I managed, a statement that sounded suspiciously close to a question. "No. Cath, it isn't good." Reagan sighed turning away, and kicking her combat boots onto her bed. "I'm taking a shower."  
I blinked some more, watching her gather her clothes. I hate making decisions. Levi isn't a bad idea, and if he is because of me, and my fetus personality and social life, I'm fixing it. The only thing I know for sure is that we're a wonderful sort of parody, and I'm sticking to us. Us. I'm an idiot.

Reagan POV

Cath has a wonderful sense of sarcasm and a firm will to do whatever is in her best interest. However the things she thinks are in her best interest are always doing one or both of two things; causing her to become more secluded or causing her to be the complete opposite. Somehow that simple life works for her.

Levi POV

A star is so far away but we get enamored just looking at it. It's too powerful to be closer, though. More than a trillion small suns splatter the sky at night, and it's beautiful. Too bad some people can't see them through their strobe lights and tv screen and pollution. I miss home, and I think home misses me, and only me.

Wren POV

Jandro looks like a cougar. Dark and sleek and predatory, the graceful hunting feline. I think he could never be captured, and I have a feeling that's extremely good for me to think so.

Cath POV

I'll talk to Levi. I'll explain. I think that we need some sort of anchor, at least a harness for us to hover around reality- to truly enjoy it.

Thanks to Radhzzzzzz, bhem, and SofiaNoversa as well, you lovelies made my heart happy💝 


	4. Chapter 4

(These characters belong to Rainbow Rowell)

Cath POV

The cool desktop smooths out the creases in my forehead. I don't know quite what to think still. I miss Wren- steady Wren, a sort of reflection to make me better, something to reach- and yet the reflection never judges. Which in itself is remarkable, as anyone is quick to judge themselves- and yet Wren and I are one and the same in too many and not enough ways, so I suppose that does make sense. I've let Levi take over my life, I realize. Every time I look at him I feel warm, and every time he holds my hand I feel safe. Nothing has changed, but I need to stop trying to run away from the world. Then, as my face heats up, I turn my cheek to the other side of the desk and sigh as my head heats up. We must act like idiots.

Reagan POV

This whole college thing feels rather regular. I tap my shoe against the wood paneling in the hall as I wait for the next class to start- and the current one to leave. I'm showing up early for a class, I sigh, maybe Cath has helped me after all. A boy, one I've seen only once before, turns the corner. Nick was the guy who stole Cath's writing and tried to pawn it off as his own, even win a prize. He needed Cath, though, after all. I'm sure it stung to see she won the prize alone. He has an interesting style. He would be hipster, but he's maybe more hardcore- or maybe that's just his expression. He's obviously a nerd, I conclude as he walks closer. I wonder if I'm into nerds too. I've gone out with jocks, and artists, and video game geeks, and tennis players, and cooks. You never know. Nerds are too good for me. Nerds are in their own way, completely angelic, like Cath- and a shadow of Levi. Which made sense, as he was the best guy I've been with. A girl beside him on the opposite side of the hall dropped her phone, and it slide towards him. Pausing he picked it up, and returned it, saying something I couldn't catch, and the girl laughed as he walked away.

Levi POV

"Mom?"  
"Oh, Levi! How are you honey? We've missed you."  
"I'm fine, Mom. Cath-"  
"Darlin'?"  
I pause, smiling anxiously at the speaker and steering with one hand. "Yeah?"  
"We miss you here, and we'd like to talk to you about college and everything, do you think you could come over this weekend?"  
"I- well yes- I'll check with Cath-"  
"Levi?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I'd like to think that you miss us too, enough for alone time maybe?" Mum's voice was clipped and I paused, confused. "I do miss you. I just thought that perhaps Cath would be invited. Do you not like-"  
"Levi, Cath is a lovely and sweet girl. She also deserves to fall completely in love with a boy who has a healthy view of his family, friends, and job. To love is to wish to be together always, not to try as hard as possible to be together always. Love is an acceptance that you cannot be with the one you love always. Sometimes, you become too close- and sometimes you grow too apart."  
There's always that moment that reality hits you like the DSL ice bucket challenge. It hit me. Quickly.  
"I'll be there by Saturday! Love you." I hung up, and sped up the car. Cath- I have to talk to Cath.

Wren POV

"We live for Carry On, you and Wrenegade rock!" A scrawly note is etched at the bottom of the poster. I smiled, Simon and Baz waltz in my heart always. Being high, they waltz rapidly near my temples, and Baz's cloak flows across my eyes. Drunk they slow dance at the back of my head. Happy they parade about my chest, and sad they rapidly spin around my heart. Baz and Simon must be extremely dizzy. They have whirled about my heart ever since Mom hugged me for the first time since I was young. I winder if they are pattering about in Cath's heart- or if they are just in her brain. I miss Cath, I miss us.

Cath POV

Levi burst in. I jumped a bit, banging my ankle against the bottom of the chair. I frowned. "Yes?" I asked hesitantly, and looking rather disapprovingly at his boots, still wet from the dewy grass, with little bits of the blindingly bright grass attached (or not) to the leather.

"My Mom called."

I liked Levi's Mom. She was a country lady with a large heart. Rather brisk, but with a ranch and children, that came to no surprise. "And?"

"Cath?"

I began to sweat. This conversation did not seem to be heading anywhere good. I rather wanted to bolt, and go somewhere safe. Somewhere like my room at home.

"Sorry, I don't mean to worry you. It's just- I need to visit home. Spend some alone time with my family...I think maybe you should too."

"Go home you mean? Alone."

"Yeah" He soft smile turned nervous, the creases around his eyes lessened."As much," he moved closer to me, and turning, he sat down with his back to me, and spread his gangly, long legs in front of him, "as I want to lose myself in you, that would mean we wouldn't be Cather and Levi-"

"Cath"

"Cather and Levi, we'd be Cather."

"Cath" I corrected again, and paused. "Or Levi."

A/N: A big thank you to the lovely person who left my first review, reading book worm girl, and Sarzaht! I can't- I just cannot😊 


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